To the guy I upset today at Planet Fitness, Myrtle-Wyckoff

Edit for offended men and offended white people. I literally never said that the shitty behavior was CONSCIOUSLY motivated by my race or my gender. I just pointed out that it lands differently when certain power dynamics exist in an interaction where one person invades another person’s personal space and personally attacks them. Yikes! If you want us to stop being afraid of you, stop making us afraid of you and getting pissed off when we mention that we are.

You approached me in my personal space at least ten minutes after I walked away from a station, saying I had “bad energy.” I was uncomfortable and ignored you, but you refused to step back and insisted I “knew what you were talking about.” When I was discussing this with the manager later, you interrupted our conversation and I left because I was genuinely freaked out. I only learned later from the manager that you were upset because I nearly brushed you with a 30 lb barbell while walking away from an irritating interaction with two other people.

I later ran into those two people during cool-down, and they were confused when I said sorry; they had to be reminded of the incident because it wasn’t a big deal. Yes, nearly hitting you with the barbell was a big deal, and I am genuinely sorry for that. Instead of being direct, you led with “I saw what happened with those two…” and made a cryptic personal attack with no reference to what you were upset about. Talk about bad energy!

I am an AFAB person of color, a survivor of gendered and racialized violence, and you are a large white man. When someone invades my personal space with vague, judgmental comments, , pressing on when I am clearly uncomfortable… it’s menacing. Had you spoken plainly and with less vitriol, I would have immediately apologized. Instead, a full 10 minutes later, I had to step back during my front raises to avoid hitting your face with a dumbbell because you got so in my face. I went to the manager because my hands were literally shaking after you did that.

I am truly sorry for being careless with the barbell– lesson learned! Here’s one for you: respect others’ space when they are clearly uncomfortable. I do not think you would have spoken to me this way if I were white or a man…and personally, on the many occasions I have to dodge flying weights or bodies in a crowded PF, I roll my eyes and move on with my life.