there was a groper at Artichoke Pizza last night 🤮

hey Bushwick!

I just wanted to share this unsettling story with my community.

Last night, two female friends and I had dinner at Artichoke Pizza on Wyckoff. It was a great evening, soaked in wine, good convo, and vodka sauce…unfortunately, the vibe was ruined by a male patron seated at the next table. He kept putting his hand on my friend’s leg. Shocked, she would look over, but he would determinedly avoid eye contact (so would his female dining companions). Eventually, my friend said, “can we leave? This dude keeps touching me.”

Looking back, I wish I confronted him, but she was frazzled, and it was getting up on Cinderella hour…so we got the check and left. We spilled down the street, discussing what had just transpired. My friend was so frozen in the moment, she couldn’t say anything to him.

I said, “I can’t believe you had a groper at Artichoke Pizza!” Then (this is where the story takes a comedic turn) a skateboarder who happened to be gliding past stopped and said, “WHAT HAPPENED?” He was clearly one of those noble types who believes in defending women. He kept saying, “I’m from Mississippi, we don’t do that,” and, “this woman right here is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister…” (snaps to our protective king).

Then he asks again, “where did this happen? Is he still there?”

And I said yes, “he’s at Artichoke Pizza!”

So the skateboarder skated off in that direction, presumably to avenge my friend’s honor. We kept walking home, so we don’t know what happened next. I almost wish we had followed him, but my friend was still shook up, so we got her home.

All this to say – there is someone walking the streets of Bushwick (of all places!) who thinks it’s cute to touch women against their will. He has curly, dirty blond hair. He hangs out with girls who don’t seem to mind.

Was anyone at Artichoke Pizza last night around 11-12:30? Did anyone see the skateboarder come in? I want to know if he found the groper. Also, groper, I hope you see this. Next time this happens, I’ll snap a picture and tape it to all the telephone poles along the L.

Don’t touch women unless you’re invited to. 🤘🤘🤘🤘